Dissolving the Hidden Blocks behind failing my Driving License 6⚠️ times
How energy healing not only heals patterns and trauma,
but also releases what blocks us from attaining our goals.
Narrating one of my personal experiences unblocking with energy work:
attaining my driving license
There are things in life that are difficult to attain and deserve praise and admiration for getting them. Then there are things that should, at least in theory, be totally straightforward. Like getting a driving licence.
I failed 6(!!) @#$*& times.
Not 6 times in a row, which would at least have been a concentrated period of suffering. No, I managed to stretch the experience over 14 years, allowing the whole thing to develop into a permanent, looming grey cloud above my head. A recurring, almost daily, reminder, that I was incapable of doing the most mundane thing and that I still wasn't an adult.
My driving was absurd. I drove way too fast. I missed 75% of traffic signs. I pressed the accelerator when I was supposed to stop for another (apparently that is anti-social driving). Sometimes I would be driving along quite happily, feeling completely comfortable, until I encountered something like a turbo roundabout with a set of rules that seemed to need prior study and deciphering, then I’d block, and just do something on a whim, endangering everyone.
Other times, I would abandon whatever the official rules were and simply do what felt right. Unfortunately, what felt right was always wrong.
Lack of skill was not the issue
What the hell was wrong with me? Was it my Greek driving instincts (orange light = decoration) rebelling against the overly strict and regulated Dutch traffic regulations? Was it that I had become progressively more and more insecure to the point that I became worse instead of better? Was I really that dumb that I could not learn to operate a vehicle despite 150+ lessons 🙈? The driving license felt like a black hole I was throwing my confidence, money and time in getting nothing in return except insecurities and fears.
I had no answer to those questions, but what I did know was that my driving performance could not be explained by ‘lack of skill’ since the lessons are there to teach you those skills. Something much deeper had to be going on.
Concentration was not the issue
Because the problem was stretched over years and years, a lot of things had to fall into place and be cleared for me to attain this basic skill.
First, I fixed my concentration by dealing with AD(H)D symptoms. I did that however for its own sake, not for attaining the license.
Then I got rid of ritalin. It makes you fixate on something, missing literally everything else around you. Not ideal for needing to notice multiple things simultaneously, constantly update your understanding of the situation, and respond quickly without becoming fixated on any one detail.
But addressing concentration was not the whole pie. I still failed, though I drove better. There were more layers influencing my ability to move forward.
Simple problem, deep roots
So I went back to my solution for whenever I can’t solve something by merely taking action: energy healing. I did not believe that energy healing would magically teach me to park, recognise road signs in time, or operate a vehicle under stress. But I did believe something deeper was going on. I had begun to understand something through my own experience with energy healing: sometimes, the obstacle in front of us is not the problem.
Sometimes, it is merely the thing that makes an underlying problem become visible.
The underlying problem showed itself in my extreme resistance to taking classes. I would have rather done almost anything else than spend 1-2 hours being instructed on how to operate a car. The problem showed itself also in my inability to retain feedback: one ear in, one ear out. It also showed itself by turning even the simplest instructions into insurmountable obstacles in my head, as though some invisible force within me resisted every attempt to learn.
But why all this unnecessary ‘noise’? The question can be useful, but there is a limit to how much thinking about resistance can change resistance. In energy healing, the intention is not to produce and analyze a clever explanation. It is to work with the ‘energetic imprint’ of the resistance itself, allowing the emotional charge to shift, so you can move forward unblocked.
Sometimes what we experience as laziness, stubbornness, rebelliousness, resistance or a complete lack of motivation is not a character flaw. It can be something deeper that desperately wants to come to the surface for resolution.
S0.. what was it?
I did healing sessions around the issue, and these were the blocks that were cleared:
The feminine side of my family are not keen drivers. The first layer: I was staying loyal to family patterns. My Dutch grandmother is afraid to drive. My mother is afraid of the highway. My Greek grandmother never even obtained a driving licence. Suddenly, I had company. I was loyal to an intangible inheritance. Driving was the invisible boundary around how far I allowed myself to go.
The inner child who did not want to grow up. Somewhere beneath the resistance was another uncomfortable truth: part of me did not want to grow up. Growing up is not a single, uniform process. We can be adults in some areas and remain reluctant to take ownership of others. We can want the freedom that comes with adulthood while resisting the responsibilities that make that freedom possible. Part of me was ashamed and wanted this whole ridiculous chapter to be over, another part really enjoyed being taken care of by being driven around.😁 And that part was very determined to keep the situation unresolved.
The feminine side of being in the driver's seat. And then there was the feminine layer. This one was particularly interesting because it went beyond driving in the literal sense. There was something about being in the driver's seat that connected, in my own experience, to questions of power, agency, and what it means to take the lead in a ‘masculine’ activity. Cultural conditioning apparently still ran unconsciously - on an energetic level - in me, even though I had consciously rejected those beliefs. I had to resolve something at the level of the feminine collective unconscious for myself.
So a lot of psychological and energetic material attached to something that, on paper, involved turning a steering wheel and remembering not to accelerate into a stop sign. The size of the problem in our daily lives does not necessarily tell us the depth of the patterns associated with it.
How everything shifted after the sessions
A bridge of events was magically set into motion for me to pass
After energy healing sessions, your energetic make-up starts changing. That means that everything that is not a fit to ‘the new vibration’ starts falling away, allowing new conditions, people and events to come in. This is what happened to me:
Firstly, I changed driving instructor and school: I started feeling a strong repulsion against the driving school and instructor I was allocated before starting my last attempt. He started sending me weird messages out of the blue. I was used to having instructors that preferred to chat and flirt, instead of seriously teaching me (not all of them). I immediately cut it off and searched for a new school as well.
The next driving school allocated an instructor to me that was nothing like the others I’ve had in the past. My final driving instructor was an extremely skilled, serious Afghan man with very conservative Islamic values which he practised daily with dedication and discipline. He had less than zero interest in me. I adored him! The result was wonderful: instruction, practice, correction, and more practice. I gave him the best review I could write after. He couldn't care less. I love him even more for that!
Family aligned: I went to Eindhoven and lived a couple of days a week with my mother and stepdad in order to pass the license in an ‘easier’ city than Amsterdam. In the past she wasn’t too keen on this idea, but now I was welcomed.
Work schedule aligned: The work I did at the time fried me mentally leaving me with no mental-emotional space to ‘study’ what I sucked at ànd bored me to tears. But during the lessons before my last attempt, work suddenly dried up: a merger was in the works, and it was unclear which of the two companies was responsible for handling the tenders, leaving me with little work to do.
The right advice & help starting coming in: Whereas people around me had previously left me to get on with driving on my own (which is how I prefer it), it was now becoming a ‘public affair’. The right tips and the kind of help that actually sank in started coming naturally. One of my healers advised me to switch to an automatic, so I’d have one less thing to think about. My brother-in-law gave me a much-needed reality check: “Why are you driving so fast? It’s not like you’ve somewhere to go.” My sister patiently soothed my frequent floods of tears around my incompetence. My friends listened to my endless complaining (sorry). My stepfather let me practise in his beloved Tesla (with, of course, himself firmly in the passenger seat). And my mum, ahead of my final exam, banned me from wearing my fur coat: “They’ll never let you pass in that.” She had a point.
The CBR (Dutch driving test authority) system crashed in my favour: Before my final attempt, my examiner looked up my record and reassured me that it was perfectly normal not to pass on the first try, and that things would go well this time. Somehow, the system failed to show that this was actually my seventh attempt, which may have changed the lens through which he viewed me.
Looking back, I can see how all these pieces came together. First came the inner energetic work, which helped me heal and mature; in turn, it seemed to attract and align the right circumstances.
Finally, the driving licence
And then, after 14 years, 6 failed attempts, numerous driving instructors, a comical amount of drama and crying and some very deep emotional and energetic exploration, I passed. And i passed with a compliment: you are a very aware driver!
If you’d like support with your ‘kryptonite’, you can reach out to me. I work as a (shamanic) energy healer that incorporates systemic work in her sessions. In this way I help people heal and unblock in a direct, experiential way.
